Hi my name is (what) my name is (who)
My name is (Slim Shady)
Hi my name is (huh) my name is (what)
My name is (Slim Shady) uh uh
Hi my name is (what) 
(Excuse me) my name is (who)
My name is (Slim Shady)
(Can I have the attention of the class)
Hi My name is (huh) my name is (for one second) (what)
My name is (Slim Shady)

Hi kids do you like violence (yeah yeah yeah)
Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids (uh huh)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did (yeah yeah)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse than my life is (huh)
My brain's dead weight I'm tryin' to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I wanna impregnate (um)
Dr Dre said "Slim Shady you a basehead" (uh-uh)
"Then why's ya face red man you wasted"
Well since age 12 I've felt like I'm someone else
'Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt (agh)
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross (ah)
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast (woh)
Come here slut (Shady wait a minute that's my girl dog)
I don't give a fuck God sent me to piss the world off

CHORUS:
Hi my name is (what) my name is (who)
My name is (Slim Shady)
Hi my name is (huh) my name is (what)
My name is (Slim Shady)

CHORUS.

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high (shhh)
Thanks a lot next semester I'll be 35
I smacked him in his face with an eraser
Chased him with a stapler stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (ow)
Walked in a strip club had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender and stuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial running over pedestrians
In a space ship while they're screamin' at me "Let's just be friends"
99 percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (damn)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin' drugs and name it after her (oh thank you)
You know you blew up when the women rush the stands
To try to touch your hands like some screamin' Usher fans (ah ah ah ah)
This guy in White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude can I get your autograph)
So I signed it "Dear Dave thanks for the support asshole"

CHORUS.

Stop the tape this kid needs to be locked away (get him)
Dr Dre don't just stand there operate
I'm not ready to leave it's too scary to die (fuck that)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (oh yo)
Am I comin' or goin' I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka dare me to drive (go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years and my palms are too hairy to hide (whoops)
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk
I spit when I talk I fuck anything that walks (come here)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
How you gonna breast feed me mom you ain't got no tits (wah wah)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
With a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (bang)
I'm steamin' mad (argh) and by the way when you see my dad (yeah)
Tell him that I slit his throat in this dream I had

CHORUS.

Man: Meet Eddie. 23 years old. Fed up with life and
the way things are going, he decides to rob a (I can't take this
anymore, I can't take this anymore) liquor store
But on his way in, he has a sudden
change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...

Dre: Alright, stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door
Of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (Who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin' conscience

M&M: That's nonsense. Go in gather the money
And run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress and one of her blond wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs
With Renee's razor blades

Dre: Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

M&M: Fuck dat, Do that shit, Shoot that bitch
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

Dre: Man don't do it. It's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you

M&M: You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude...*scratched out*

Man: *conversation in background*

Meet Stan. 21 years old. After meeting a young girl
at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in
an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his consciencecomes into play...

M&M: Now listen to me, while you're kissin' her cheek
Or smearin' her lipstick, slip this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe...

Dre: Yo! This girl's only 15 years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair

M&M: Yo, look at her bush, does it got hair? (Uh-huh)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there..

Dre: Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids?

M&M: No, but I seen a porno with Son Doobiest!

Dre: Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?

M&M: Yeah fuck that, hit that chick raw-dog and bail...*scratched out*

Man: Meet Brady. A 29 year old construction worker. *footsteps
on gravel* After coming home from a hard day's work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home to
find his wife in bed with another man. *moaning* (What the fuck?)

Dre: Alright calm down, relax, start breathin...

M&M: Fuck dat shit you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin' to get off?!?!
Fuck slittin' her throat! CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!

Dre: Wait, what if there's an explanation for this shit?

M&M: What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?

Dre: Shit, alright Shady. Maybe he's right Brady.
But think about the baby before you get all crazy.

M&M: Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get the daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody that slapped DEE BARNES?!?!

Dre: What you say?

M&M: What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?

Dre: I'ma kill you motherfucker!

M&M: Uh-Uh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. A-K comin' Straight Outta Compton Y'all Better Make Way??!
How in the fuck you gon' tell this man not to be violent?

Dre: Cuz he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there done that... *shotgun cocks* aw fuck it...
What am I sayin'? Shoot 'em both Brady, where's your gun at?
BANG! *cocks* BANG!